Went should you call a girl back?

I recently encouraged my best friend, to observe the “Three Day Rule” regarding when to call a chick after getting her number. The popular wisdom is that by waiting three days to re-establish contact you can fool her into thinking you’re not as desperate as you probably are. It’s a solid strategy and a good rule of thumb for amateurs like this bro, but there’s a more technical approach for intrepid souls that requires both advanced expertise and polished skills… the “Four Day Rule.”


As explained in my New York Times Best-selling book, “The Bro Code,” waiting four days instead of three gives you a considerable edge when it comes to winning over a woman, but this strategy raises many frequently asked questions from gentlemen callers:


If I girl gives me her number, doesn’t that mean she wants me to call her? Why do I have to wait so long?

If you call a girl right away and other guys follow suit, eventually women will expect timely correspondence… and that’s an unnecessary burden for everyone.


Okay, then why don’t I just wait a week, or a month, or even a year? Waiting a week makes her think you were too scared to call and a month makes it seem like you’re even more desperate than calling her the first night. As far as waiting a year, experiments are underway to determine at what exact time period a belated call from the past will fool a chick into thinking you haven’t been able to get her out of your mind after all this time, which can lead to some spirited nostalgic sex.


I scored a few phone numbers over the weekend and I’m worried I will mess up the days and call too soon or too early. What should I do? Spreadsheet. Heh.

Okay, I’ve waited ninety-six hours. When’s the best time to call her? Call during the middle of the day. You’ll have a better chance of catching her voicemail, and then, with any luck, the ball will be in her court. If the gods are in your favor, you might even be able to set something up without ever actually having to talk with her.

There's some type of Relationship Advance In Here

I wanted to spent lot of my summer chilling out with my special lady buddy. According to my social colleague, Lily, that wasn’t a precise enough definition of our time together. You see, as a gentleman I generally prefer not to kiss and tell (unless I’ve nailed a ten or accomplished a particularly athletic sexual feature… and also, just to be clear, I’ve slept with her A LOT). But Lily has carelessly thrown around words like “boyfriend” and “girlfriend” and – worst of all – “relationship.”..... I don’t think so....right.... Look it up.

re·la·tion·ship [ree-ley-shuh n-ship] – A particular type of connection existing between people related to or having dealings with each other.

I mean, how ridiculous can one get? “Connection existing between people”?! What are we, Siamese twins? “related to”....Um, no. Gross. “Dealings with each other”? We don’t have dealings, we have intercourse! Crazy, “here put this on” intercourse! Clearly,  her and I are not in a “relationship.” But since Lily refuses to let it go, I thought I’d offer up some better definitions of how two people choose to interact… well, the PG version anyway.

hook·ing up [hoo-k-ing up] - When two people do it, consistently, but aren’t hanging out during daylight hours – unless it’s for the express purpose of getting it on.

hang·ing out [hang – ing – owt] – The process of participating in an organized activity together – such as a movie or dinner - followed shortly thereafter by furious banging.

see·ing where things are go·ing [see-ing wair things ahr going] – The process in which two people hang out, hook up, and do everything they can not to think about what it means.

da·ting – [day-ting] 1) The first time seeing where things are going fails. 2) Hanging out without the guarantee of sex.

marr·iage – [marr-edge] see: suicide.

play·ing the field – [play-ing the feeeeld] – Banging as many people as possible.

just friends – [just frends] – Two people who probably could’ve banged that one night but didn’t and it’s been a little weird ever since. They’ve thought about it, though.

Barn·man and Rob·in [barn-man and rob-in] – A delightful and humorous play on words meant to equate Barney Stinson and Robin Scherbatsky with popular comic book superheroes Batman and Robin, but instead of fighting crime they like to have sex in public places… but they do sometimes wear costumes, so… yeah.